


The Hunt

by AbovetheCloudsandDreaming



Series: Their Purpose - The Episodes [2]
Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Angst, Codependency, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Joel and Ellie obviously love each other they just haven't said it yet, Miller brothers have problems, Music, Singing, Tommy has a good heart but is gonna be the death of his brother someday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 17:19:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6248719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbovetheCloudsandDreaming/pseuds/AbovetheCloudsandDreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joel and Maria wait for Ellie and Tommy to return. It's taking longer than expected, and what was supposed to be a relaxing, simple evening, turns into much, much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hunt

**Author's Note:**

> In terms of the timeline in which these oneshots were written, this was the first one. It's still a bit rough around the edges writing wise, but a step in the right direction. Takes place sometime during Their Purpose 2.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy, cheers!

It was years ago when anyone in Jackson had a calendar of any use. All the residents had simply resorted to phases of the moon to give them some semblance of day, week and month. But he hated a full moon. A full moon meant the approximate turn of a month, which implied a waning supply of meat. A full moon meant the hunt for local game in the surrounding wilderness took place, and also, much to his dismay, a half-day in which Ellie was beyond the safe confines of the walls hunting - separated from _him_ \- with Tommy and the rest of the group.

When she excitedly asked if she could tag along - always so eager to prove herself, to please - he remembered nearly socking his younger brother right in the jaw for even hinting, albeit half-jokingly, that she could join. Yet, somehow, the girl got him thinking it would all be okay...

_Goddammit. How the hell did she talk me into bein' okay with this?_

Maria's voice was somewhere in the back of his mind. He wasn't sure how long she'd been talking. For all he knew she'd picked up on the fact that he wasn't listening long ago and was now simply throwing insults at him left, right, front and center. _As if_ he could even pretend to care right now, though. All he could think about was his little girl cautiously tiptoeing through the dangerous world beyond the walls of Jackson, only to be mauled by a wild animal, pack of Infected or worse... Hunters.

What if she was lying on the ground, bleeding out, tears in her eyes and calling for him to come scoop her up in his arms? What if something happened? He'd already been waiting longer than he did twenty-eight days ago. What if something went wrong? What if she needed him? Right _now?_ _What if Tommy's lost track of her? Christ... boy you better pray she ain't got a scratch on that head of hers when I... oh god -_

"Joel! Are you even listening to me?" Maria asked, voice palpable with frustration.

The question finally tore him away from his thoughts. He barely turned his head over a shoulder, breaking his gaze from the window for the first time in what felt like hours, and merely gave the woman an irritated grunt as a response.

Tommy was responsible for the entire ordeal in the first place, not her. It wasn't her fault Ellie was currently more than arm's reach away. But his persistent, intense and perhaps even illogical - no, not perhaps, _definitely_ illogical, although since Michelle maybe not entirely - _need_ to protect that tiny redhead from anything and everything had his brain jumping to all sorts of ridiculous conclusions. None of which more absurd than the thought that Maria might as well have been the one to put the fatal wound into his little girl for not immediately telling Tommy to the shut the fuck up when he first suggested the idea.

She rolled her eyes and huffed, still trying to not let the lack of a response from the socially crippled Texan bother her. But it did, even if she didn't show it, knowing if she let loose a sliver of discontent it would only make things worse. Even after all these months of getting to know her brother-in-law, the man was still difficult to deal with; not quite fitting in with everyone else and the social structure of Jackson. Like a piece to a jigsaw puzzle that had been misplaced and thrown into the wrong box, not belonging and fitting with anything but its one lone counterpart that existed _somewhere_ in the universe.

_Ellie._

Maria sunk back into the couch, angrily planting the back of her head against the cushion before tilting it to the side and giving him a leer. "You can keep staring out the window all you want but it's not gonna change anything," she said, almost nervously, afraid she would set him off at any point. She crossed her arms and legs, hoping to hear something other than a growl or a grunt in response. She was beginning to think the man forgot how to speak English, as if the absence of Ellie short-circuited his brain.

And it did.

Finally, a low grumble then a deep, and almost wounded, voice crawled up from the depths of his large frame. "I know."

And maybe that's what ate at and _destroyed_ him the most. The fact that he _knew_ there was nothing he could do. That he couldn't protect her. That he was powerless. Ellie was out there, away from him, and he was here, left to deal with his own damaged mind and paranoia. _But s_ _he should be here with me goddammit. She's safest with me an' nowhere else._

Maria immediately lifted her head from the cushion, happy to hear actual words muttered from him for the first time in what must have been hours. Although, she couldn't keep her brow from furrowing at the terse response. She took a deep breath, bit her tongue and restrained a sarcastic retort, careful not to ignite the tension between them.

But he didn't have to look. He could already feel the annoyed glare being carved into the back of his head that was coupled with another agitated roll of the eyes. With his mind's eye focused on one thing and one thing only, another smolder of embers burned in the pit of his stomach, sourced from his irritation at the current situation and growing ire at the woman behind him. She used to embark on the hunting missions with Tommy, not Ellie. But ever since Ellie joined, she stayed behind. Though, part of him had a sneaking suspicion Ellie was somewhat responsible for Maria staying home, as if the intuitive little girl just knew he'd lose his mind if left alone.

Now wasn't _that_ something?

Ellie was the one venturing out into the wild, into danger, and he, still slightly wounded from the nail bomb exploding near his leg a few months ago, was inside, safe and sound. Yet, he was the one who needed someone to keep himself from crumbling to bits and spiraling down a dark hole. Funny. Ironic.

He snickered to himself at the thought, c _lever little bugger,_ knowing she'd probably flip her shit if she came home and discovered he'd acted like a miserable eight-year old the entire time.

The light chuckle drew Maria's attention and she rose to her feet. "Everything's gonna be fine. _Relax,_ " she said, cautiously approaching him.

He drooped his head, stared at the worn, hardwood floor beneath his feet and pinched the bridge of his nose. _Dammit Joel, you're only makin' it worse here._ He sighed, then _finally_ turned around, only to see her standing a mere few feet from him, looking wary as ever. His eyes rose, meeting hers, his posture relaxing under her gaze, hoping - but only slightly, always having some weird, morbid sense of pride that he could still intimidate anything with a pulse - to put the woman at ease. Which it did.

_See baby girl? I'm alright without you by my side... tssht, still doin' that lyin' thing huh? You're a goddamn disaster right now an' you know it._

Lies, even innocuous white-lies to himself, harmless little things, sent an eerie chill down his spine; reminders of the dark cloud that hung above his head. That he lied to _her_. And that he had yet to tell her the truth that she so rightfully deserved to know.

A slight twitch, in reaction to the thought, darted through his cheeks.

Maria noticed, arching an eyebrow in confusion, but made no mention of it. She cleared her throat and gave way to a timid smile, still half-expecting him to punch his fist through the window if she even as much as joked about her husband and Ellie not returning. "Look - why don't - " she paused and ran a hand through the back of her hair, still unsure of what was, or wasn't, kosher to say in this moment. "Why don't we sit down and have a drink, yeah? Still have some of that whiskey Tommy cracked open," she said, smile gradually growing.

And _fuck I could use a drink right now. Make this hell less hellish._ He swallowed hard and set his jaw, which only seemed to send a visible shiver through the woman. _It'll make all this waitin' go by faster._ "Fine," he tersely spat, voice coming out deep, muffled, even a little angry.

"Great! I'll go get it," she said, albeit tepidly while uncorking another deep breath that sounded like it had been pent up for years. As she turned around to make her way into the kitchen, he caught a glimpse of the sudden expression of  _relief_ that washed over her face. An expression that he could only interpret as a not so subtle " _thank fucking god."_

A veiled smirk stretched across his lips and he walked towards the couch, feeling his gut churn as he distanced himself from the window; another ten feet further away from _her,_ Ellie. He plopped himself down on one end of the couch, keeping the window to the outside in view, then heaved a sigh. It was long, deep, rife with frustration.

"I heard that," Maria said from the kitchen.

He simply snorted in response, hunching over and resting both elbows on his knees as he cracked his knuckles. Of course, within seconds of sitting down, his eyes were already darting towards the window. _I should be out there dammit, with her, makin' sure she's alright. I ain't okay with this shit._

Maria returned with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses in hand, only to catch him gazing through the window with a look of wanting in his eyes that bordered on _begging._

Him, Joel Miller, her brother-in-law, begging? A strange thing to see that was, but it didn't entirely surprise her. She'd gotten to know the feared, possibly even venerable Joel - well, the JoelandEllie - the Joel who had that little sprite tied to his hip so often that everyone in town stopped referring to them as separate entities altogether.

But this, an Ellie-less Joel, was a far different beast. It were as if the half of him that was responsible for thinking straight and determining the difference between right and wrong, _morality,_ was gone. He actually looked, dare she thought, _broken._

Irony came in many strange forms since the outbreak. She'd heard countless stories from Tommy, even Joel himself, about what he'd endured and fought through to survive. She knew he did things that would've caused most grown men to fall apart and break long, long ago; homicidal things that could've only been described as atrocities. Yet, here this callused, hardened soul was, withering away bit by bit, hour by hour, all because of the absence of a little girl named Ellie.

Maria leaned a shoulder against the wall, paused, then cleared her throat, hoping to draw his attention from the window... _again._ "You know, I imagine she's gonna be a little upset once I tell her how we spent the last few hours," she said before continuing her way towards the couch. "What, with you here acting all jumpy and - " she paused upon seeing his eyes finally meet her. "Miserable." She sat down across from him, noticing the ensuing flinch that rippled through his body in reaction to her acute observation.

Now _that_ got his attention.  _Missus Miller's got you there._

He could just picture the pained look that would inevitably wash across Ellie's face upon discovering he was in anguish, practically put through the wringer, even for just the past few hours while she was gone. And he'd be damned if _he_ would be the spark that ignited a sulky pout and heart-tugging bulge of her lower lip. He'd made it his mission - _purpose -_ to guard his little Ellie from all things nefarious and even the slightest emotionally distressing. It was the least he could do. At least he wouldn't screw _that_ up after lying to her face and robbing her of her _purpose;_ although a part of him hoped he became hers, like she became his. 

He glowered at Maria, annoyed at her blunt but true statement. Then, as if to admit some sort of defeat - to what, he wasn't sure - he heaved another heavy sigh and rubbed the tiredness and stress from his eyes.

"Here," she softly said, handing him a half-glass of whiskey.

He cleared his throat and reached for the glass. "Thanks." He leaned back into the couch, took a large sip, bigger than normal, and immediately relished the bronze liquid washing across his tongue. Because dear god did he need _something_ to take the edge off.

Maria watched a sliver of tension leave his body, and gave way to a light snicker after taking her first sip.

He looked her in the eyes and snorted, finding some strange sense of humor in her ability to read him, then peeled a thumb off his glass to scratch his brow. _Fuck it._ "Yeah," he muttered through another sigh, resigning himself to her perceptive ways. There was no hiding from it, she knew what was tumbling around in that thick head of his. Even if he didn't show it, though, he was appreciative she wasn't mocking him for it.

"That husband of yours better bring her back in one piece or I swear - "

"You mean your _brother?"_ she interrupted, bursting into laughter. Though a small part of her did actually worry for her better-half's well being in someway if Ellie returned with some sort of malady. She saw what Joel did to Michelle, the sight still clear in her mind. And she remembered a few weeks ago in the middle of town, surrounded by a large crowd, when her and Tommy needed to restrain him with everything they had to keep him from beating the living hell out of some asshole that accidentally bumped into Ellie. Although at the time part of her wanted to take the collar off of him and let him do it after the man spouted a series of profanity laced and unflattering insults at him _and_ Ellie; insults that implied certain... indecent and lewd qualities of their characters.

Things like that were why the two damaged souls hardly left the house during the busy hours of the day. People just didn't understand why an angry, ornery, cynical and bitter middle-aged man had a fifteen-year-old girl, who clearly wasn't his own, _constantly_ plastered to his side. Though, of course, neither one of them would have it any other way; the two co-dependent souls growing closer by the day. They never left each other's side, this once-a-month hunt being the only time apart.

He stretched both legs out, crossing them at the ankles and resting his feet atop the coffee table in front of the couch. "Yeah. My _brother._ Reckon he better know what the hell he's doin' out there," he said through a half-amused snicker.

Hearing at the very least a small chuckle leave his lips seemed to put Maria at ease and she relaxed her posture, sinking deeper into the couch as she took another sip.

He of course noticed and took another sip as well. "Aaahhh - goddamn. Shit's good, I tell ya," he said after puckering his lips and savoring the flavor of the beverage.

"Sure is," she replied.

Another strenuous silence fell between them and he could already feel the nervous tingle in his gut taunting him once again, thoughts crawling back to Ellie. It'd been quite longer than last time, a good thirty minutes past the point he thought they'd return, and the angst within him was approaching critical mass. 

Something must have gone wrong.

She's lying helpless and alone on the ground in the dark or she got lost or Tommy can't find her or she fell down a cliff or rolled down a hill and broke her leg only to be found helpless by a pack of Bandits or a bear that tore her to pieces and - _goddammit, never again._ He briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _Just... quit actin' like a horse's ass an' get through it. They'll be back soon.  
_

He returned his focus to his beverage, examined it for a few seconds. "Where in the hell you two find this anyway?" he asked while lifting the glass and admiring the bronze liquid. The lone, dim light emitted from the ceiling lamp gave it a glistening shine.

She took another sip, then made a face and shrugged. "You're gonna have to ask Tommy that one, not sure. I just know he came back with it after a uhh - " she paused and felt a lopsided smirk creep across her lips. "A hunt."

He snorted again and shook his head. "Tssht - ironic," he grumbled.

She simply laughed in response and mimicked his posture, resting both legs on the edge of the coffee table as well.

"Been a while since one of those turbines went out. We figure out how to keep 'em runnin' for good now?" he asked, making every attempt to keep his mind in the present.

A smile stretched across Maria's face, happy he was at least _trying._ It was a marked improvement compared to before she handed him a drink. "I guess so. Whatever Houser and the boys did seemed to work," she said with another shrug.

"Reckon I've probably jinxed it now. Watch, tomorrow one of 'em is gonna shit the bed."

Just before taking another sip, she tipped her glass, made another face, one of agreement, and chuckled. "Yeah, probably."

His glass was already empty. He'd downed the stuff in a matter of minutes, unable to keep himself away from it for long. He set the thing down on the table with a little bit more force than Maria would've liked, but she made no mention of it.

He titled his head back, gazed up at the ceiling and rubbed his brow. "Goddammit Maria this is takin' way too long. If they ain't back in another ten minutes I'm draggin' 'em home myself," he said, voice stern backed by a hint of anger. He couldn't avoid the elephant in the room any longer.

Another sigh, rife with frustration, bellowed from her chest and she shot him an irritated glare. "Just... wait - they'll be back soon. It can't be that much longer. I mean, it's almost dark out anyway."

He glanced at the window again, noticing the waning twilight and rising full moon in the late evening sky. _That's the problem. It is almost dark an' they ain't back yet. Fuckin' hell._

He cursed under his breath, rose to his feet. "I'm gettin' a glass of water," he muttered.

"Alright, suit yourself."

He had to get up. Had to move. Had to do _something_ other than just waiting. Simply sitting on the couch obviously wasn't doing him any good and the later and darker it got the more his stomach churned; that anxious, nervous tingle nearly making him sick.

After returning from the kitchen with some water, he leaned against the wall and glanced around the room, refusing to sit back down. _You're a mess._

Maria cleared her throat. "So tomorrow I was thinking - "

Then, a sudden movement. Someone. Something. Through the window. Outside. He caught it in the corner of his eye, and her voice immediately became nothing but white noise. The brief sight of Tommy's distinctive denim jacket passed by, but in that split second he swore he also noticed two, skinny legs draped over his brother's arm, coupled with a pair of small feet dangling in the air. There were footsteps, too, but only _one_ set of them, against the wooden porch outside, and he heard two, muffled yet frantic voices. One of which was the unmistakable, _soothing_ tone of Ellie.

Right away his eyes darted towards the doorknob, watched it slowly turn. He gulped. His skin flushed. Throat clenched. And all of a sudden it were as if his stomach and guts were falling through the floor; that feeling one gets while free-falling on a roller-coaster or in a dream. All of his muscles tensed, and pupils dilating to the size of the full moon in the night sky. Fury, angst and worry clouded his mind, eyes tunnel-visioning on the door, all in a flash of white-hot rage. And before he knew it he was already storming towards the door after mindlessly dropping his water glass to the hardwood floor beneath him. _I knew it I knew it I knew it! Goddammit!_

The fragile thing shattered upon impact, sending a shrill of breaking glass throughout the room.

Maria flinched, nearly jumped out of her seat in reaction. She watched him march across the room, intent behind every step, the woman not daring to get in his way. She didn't even have to ask, she already knew _something_ happened. And seeing his demeanor shift so drastically, that _something_ was obvious. 

A nervous chill slithered down her spine and she swallowed hard, eyes enlarging to their maximum size. "Oh. _Fuck,_ " she spat under her breath.

Before he reached the door, it swung open. In came a stumbling, panting Tommy with Ellie in his arms. Their eyes met, Joel stopping dead in his tracks, all color draining from his face. A dense silence fell across the entire room as the two Millers simply stared at each other for a few seconds. A few seconds that felt like a fucking eternity.

Trails of blood dripped down Tommy's hand, and Joel pierced him with a gaze that would've disturbed even the hardest of grown men.

Maria was still sitting, albeit silent, mouth agape, anxiously glancing back and forth between the two of them and waiting for one to make the first move.

More silence. No one, not even Ellie, daring to a say word before Joel, who was still standing a few feet in front of Tommy, rigid as a statue, next breath stuck in his chest as the synapses in his brain rapidly fired away. Every paternal alarm in his head was going wild. His eyes danced in their sockets as he tried to take everything in. Take in the image of her, wincing a bit in pain with blood dripping down her arm and trickling through Tommy's fingers. _What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck!? What the hell is this!? She was supposed to be safe with you goddammit! You promised me!_

Joel clenched his fists, unconsciously, knuckles cracking, the only sound in the otherwise silent room, and Tommy's eyes widened. The younger man gulped, mouth frozen and unable to muster any sort of defense. His arms were practically shaking, nerves aplenty, but he didn't _dare_ set Ellie down. For part of him knew the only thing preventing his older brother from decking him to the floor right then and there was the fact that he was holding the injured auburn haired girl in his arms.

Ellie tilted her head. Her eyes were round, filled with uncertainty, and immediately sought Joel's squinted, fiery ones, which remained sunk under a wrinkled and furrowed brow. They finally met and she watched his entire face recolor with a deep red. His teeth clenched, and for a second she thought she could even hear the grinding of his molars ripple through the volatile air around the four of them. _Oh shit oh shit oh shit he's gonna fucking kill Tommy then Maria's gonna get pissed and he's gonna kill her too then the rest of Jackson then we're gonna get tossed out oh fuck I never should've done this it's all my fault we're gonna have to leave because of -_

Joel lunged forward, quick as a viper.

"Joel!" Maria shouted as she threw herself off the couch.

He took another purpose-filled step towards Tommy. Tommy gasped and flinched, jolting backwards in retreat. But not Ellie, she _knew_ he would never hurt her. She knew he'd put an end to whatever population remained on planet earth before letting any harm come to her. In fact, part of her had a suspicion he already _did;_ his lie.

And as Tommy took a step back, retreating from his brother who was on the verge of knocking his teeth out, she reached an arm out to touch Joel in a halting gesture. She figured if he could at least _feel_ some part of her against him, letting him know that she was okay, he'd rein it all in.

"Joel! No! Stop! Fucking stop!" she pleaded. Her voice came out slightly pained, though she made every attempt to hide it, knowing if he detected even a sliver of torment Tommy was probably a walking dead man.

His charge towards them immediately ceased, like an obedient guard dog heeding its owner's every word, the rope holding back the fury within him one wrong word away from snapping free. The snarl, which nanoseconds before had his face twisted into a knot, loosened and he took a deep breath, again meeting her eyes.

The lids of those glistening, greenish-blues of hers wilted, and she immediately leveled him with an endearing, almost begging look.  _"Please don't! We're okay."_

She glanced back up at Tommy, tried to wriggle free. "Tommy, set me down," she commanded, tapping him on the arm.

Tommy's head twitched and he swallowed hard, the girl's voice pulling him out of whatever nightmare his brain was playing seconds earlier. He cleared this throat. "Not until you call off your dog here missy," he said with a mischievous grin.

She gave him an elbow to the chest, the bony little thing jamming into his sternum. "Shut it!" she spat. "You're not fucking helping you ass."

Joel made eye contact with Tommy and simply growled a dangerously deep grunt in response, not amused in the slightest with his brother's choice of words. _You an' me are havin' a talk later._ And Tommy better be fucking groveling at his little girl's feet after this is all done because she just about saved his life. Joel would kill everyone in Jackson if he knew it would make her smile. But he'd also not harm a damn fly if she told him not too.

She reached a hand out towards him, dainty little fingers grasping at the air, seeking his contact and attention. "Joel," she said, voice backed by a bit more pain and _desire_  than she wanted to let on.

That seemed to shoo away the rage and tension constricting his muscles, and his eyes shifted from anger to concern, even a tad sorrowful. He relaxed a bit, wiped a hand down his face then uncorked a sigh before taking another step towards them.  _Oh god my baby, c'mere sweetie, I gotcha._

Tommy flinched again, shifting backwards once more, away from him. But she flinched forwards, towards him, nearly tumbling out of the younger Miller's arms.

"Give her here," Joel said with a small nod, voice soft and nearly cracking as he reached both arms out. But there was a sense of calmness and sincerity behind it that told Tommy he'd _better_ fucking listen.

He did.

Joel then very carefully and gently - he was always so gentle with her, never wanting to cause harm - pulled her small frame into his arms, being mindful of her wound.

"Joel, it's fine it was just an accident," she peeped.

"Shh shh, it's okay," he soothed. He pressed both lips into her hair, closed his eyes, took in her scent like he needed it to continue fucking living. "I gotcha. I'm here," he continued, coddling her in his embrace like he _couldn't_ hold her close enough. And she wiggled in his arms, pressing against him like she, too, simply couldn't get close enough.

 _That_ seemed to squash the tension in the room; the two co-dependent souls back where they belonged. Together.

Maria finally exhaled, long, deliberate, and probably for the first time since Joel's water glass shattered against the floor. Tommy seemed to relax too, cutting loose a deep breath of his own. Maria rose both hands in the air, to shoulder level, shooting her husband an angry look and an expression of _"what the fuck were you thinking!?"_

He waved it off with a dismissive gesture, simply shook his head in response, _"not now."_

Joel's heartbeat receded from its previous, alarmingly high rate upon having Ellie close, his insides finally untying themselves. At least now she was in the safest place in the world; her favorite place in the world. She was protected there and he'd be damned if he couldn't fix _anything_ that ailed her while she lay in his embrace.

It didn't take long, because in only a few seconds she was practically melting in his arms, her whole body, aside from her inured arm, relaxing in his grasp. And she looked up at him, their eyes meeting once more. His face seemed to effuse with paternal empathy, worry, concern, care, and dare she thought, _love?_  A stark contrast to minutes before. And _Jesus_  hers was like that of a baby seal, gazing up at him with pure,  _precious_ and unabated vulnerability, _"I'm sorry."_

 _"Christ sweet pea - never lettin' you outta my sight again."_ But he had to literally bite his tongue to punish himself for making her think, even for a second, that _she_ was at fault here. That his little girl had to be sorry for anything. Because she, that face and those eyes, were _perfect_ in every describable way and could do absolutely no wrong whatsoever.

She shifted in his arms, all tender and delicate, then nuzzled into his shirt in some attempt to hide a wince of pain. But more for him, though, not her. Despite her efforts, he of course noticed, and she watched his eyes scan her whole body, the dark things afraid of what they might find. Finally, they settled on the deep, bloody gash marring the fleshy part of her upper arm, and she watched his jaw tighten. She grimaced, afraid the sight would set him off again, then gently placed a small hand on his sleeve and gave him another puppy-eyed look. _"I'm okay. This is fixable."_

He violently huffed, lifted his gaze from her then leered at Tommy. A seething anger took hold of his expression, throat clenching, muscles going tense once again, and if the most important thing in the universe, his whole _world,_ wasn't safely cuddled in his arms at the moment he'd give the younger man a piece of his mind. And... probably fist as well, but he wouldn't dare set her down after finally getting her back.

Tommy cleared his throat, cautiously rose a hand in a gesture of peace. "Joel, I can explain everything. I swear I - "

"Ohhh I reckon you'll get your chance," Joel interrupted. "Trust me. But right now you're gonna wait," he said with a surprising lack of volume that caught both Tommy and Maria off guard. And perhaps that unnerved them a little bit more, since they could still sense the underlying, collected anger behind his tone.

"First things first. This thing's deep as hell an' bleedin' all over the damn place." He glanced back down at Ellie's wound, gently tilting her so he could get a better look. His lips quivered a bit at the sight. "Jesus," he muttered under his breath. "Alright, we gotta get her stitched up - "

"It's not that bad!" Ellie shouted. "Just get me a fucking bandage or something and I'll be fine." Though she knew he was right.

The plea roped his attention back to her.

His eyes wilted again, face no longer tense, didn't even look mad. More... empathetic. Loving. And even sad. "Ellie, baby, it's deep as hell an' we gotta get it closed up, alright?" he said, care palpable in his voice. It even sounded a little  _hurt._ His eyes simply said, perhaps even begged, _"let me take care of you."_

That shattered any and all of her resistance. And a delicate smile stretched across her lips as she gave a little nod, despite the pain in her arm. _"I love it when you take care of me."_ And _fuck_ she knew he loved to do so just as much, always feeling that familiar, warming tickle in her stomach when he did. No one had ever taken care of her before. Everyday pre-Joel was a painful, constant struggle to survive; to simply eat and sleep. Once she finally wiggled through the cracks of his damaged but healing heart, indulging her inner desire to be nurtured, and for the first time ever, to be taken care of, was met with wide open arms. And dear god neither of them could get enough of it.

He _always_ took care of her, and his actions _always_ spoke for themselves. At first they were small, just little, innocent things; like laying one of his flannels over her when she slept, or always giving her the last bite of food during their journey across America. Then it was him doing his absolute best to nurse her after that monster, David. Even though it was totally foreign territory and had him freaked out to no end. But he sure as hell gave it his best shot. wasn't going to let her go through it alone.

Then it was the eight-hundred pound gorilla that still remained between them. Salt Lake City. The Fireflies. The potential cure for all of mankind. And though he never actually said the words, oddly enough his subterfuge, and what she only imagined he did in that hospital, screamed _I love you_ more than any words could. She just knew it. But _"fuck I've never been more sure that you lied to me than right now."_

Regardless of what happened, he took care of her then. Just like he always did, and as much as she hated him for it sometimes, she also _loved_ it. Then there was Michelle, Sean, hell everything and everyone else _before_ him, the man so clearly trying to make up for lost time. But for her, it just felt strange to be so... unguarded and... _vulnerable,_ around anyone else besides him, even Tommy and Maria.

Yet, here in his arms, she felt so small and safe as could be. That warm, cozy spot did after all become her domain.

Tommy and Maria, after being privy to what they could only describe as a moment of silent communication between the two damaged souls, in a language that only _they_ understood, collectively cleared their throats.

It pulled Joel's mind out of Ellie's and hers out of his and he adjusted her in his arms, bringing her tighter against him. "We're gonna get you fixed up, okay?" he softly said.

"Okay," she peeped with another nod, still clinging to that delicate, little smile across her lips.

"Maria, you got a first aid kit around here? Or anything of the sort?" he asked, knowing full well he'd sprint to the H.C limp and all to get everything Ellie needed if the woman said no.

She got up from the couch and nodded. "Yeah, yeah we do. I'll go get it. Go set her on the kitchen table. I'll be right back," she said before heading upstairs to fetch the materials.

He walked to the kitchen table and carefully laid Ellie onto it, watching her grimace and cradle her injured arm every inch of the way down. He cupped her cheek with a palm, the large, callused thing _gently_ encompassing the entire half of her face. "Shh, it's okay," he soothed as he took a seat in a chair next to her, adjacent to the table.

That seemed to relax her, even if only slightly, knowing she was witnessing paternal Joel once again as opposed to the cold, cynical, survivalist Joel. Although, those paternal feelings buried deep within him were rearing their head more frequently in recent months. Which, whether she was ready to admit it or not, like it was some deeply embedded secret, was something she relished.

Tommy, having memories of Joel and Sarah shooting through his mind after witnessing him act so caring for Ellie, ran a hand through his hair and let loose another deep breath. Though his older brother was somewhat collected and keeping it together, he wasn't sure how much of it was merely for Ellie's benefit, and questioned whether he'd sill have all of his teeth once this was all over. Hell, it was only last week when they had a long, heart-to-heart talk about...  _everything_ that went down between them, thus beginning the repairing of their relationship.

The younger man quietly snorted to himself at the thought, _"so much for that."_

Joel, for the first time in minutes, briefly took his eyes off Ellie and darted them towards his brother. "Reckon you did the right thing."

Tommy rose an eyebrow, "What you mean?"

"I mean... you know, takin' her here right away as opposed to the H.C. For... many damn reasons," Joel said.

Even that little complement tickled Tommy's heart, and given the circumstances he'd take it and treat it as fucking gold. "Tssht - thanks," he said as he made his way towards the table, choosing the seat furthest from Joel nonetheless. "But you should have _some_ damn faith in me," he said as he lowered into his chair, but biting his tongue before finishing the statement with an  _"old man"_ in jest.

Good call. Definitely.

Maria returned with a washcloth, needle and thread in hand and set them on the table next to Ellie's legs. "Here."

Joel immediately picked them up and inspected them, clearing them for use and ensuring they were good enough for his little girl. "Alright, this'll have to do," he said with a reluctant nod. It wasn't much, but it was enough.

Ellie inhaled, sucked in a breath with a hiss and grimaced again, grasping for Joel's hand which seconds ago had shifted from her to the supplies. Without even thinking, he returned his hand to hers and intertwined their fingers, _"I'm here."_

Suddenly, the realization that the wound was on her right arm, the bitten one, hit her like a ton of bricks. In an instant her heart began to race, breaths gradually becoming shallower and intensifying. She would have to take off her shirt, or at the very least have the sleeve of her thermal removed, thus exposing the scar on her forearm. That thought alone sent a visible shake throughout her whole body.

The sudden twitch immediately drew his undivided attention back to her, eyes already seeking the source of it. _What the hell?_

She'd spent all this time hiding it, protecting it, like it was her dirty little secret, and now she was about to let it out in the open air, around people _other_ than him. She knew Maria and Tommy were aware of her _gift,_ but also knew they'd never seen the damn thing, which only made her feel that much more like a _freak._

"Joel." She gulped.

"Yeah yeah, I'm here I'm here," he softly said, concern deep in his voice, the man ready to cater to every need she had.

"Wha-what about my arm? What about... _it?_ "

His face tensed again, his eyes closed and he took a deep breath before cupping her hand with both of his. "I know baby, I know. It's gonna be okay." He reached a hand up, brushed a bang of her hair out of her face, stared deep into her eyes. "I ain't lettin' anyone hurt you. Not a damn thing. We're okay, don't worry," he cooed, attempting to rescue her from her frantic state.

"You fucking sure!?" she asked, fear oozing from her eyes as she looked up at him for... well, everything. Like she'd learned to do over the past year.

"Yes, we're okay. There ain't anyone else here besides us. It's gonna be fine."

She closed both eyes and drew in a long, deep breath. "Okay, but I want you to be the one to do it," she said.

"Of course." He turned his head around, a hand still attached to Ellie. "Maria, scissors please," he said, the other hand reaching towards Maria for the item.

Silence. Tommy and Maria went stiff, rigid as stone. Their next collective breath wedged in their throats, followed by a sudden shot of adrenaline through their veins. They shot each other a glance, both thinking the same thing. They were about to see _it_ for the first time.

The lack of a response pulled Joel's head around once again. "Maria?" he growled, with a bit more volume than before.

That shook her out of it, and she flinched, head twitching in reaction. "Oh... right. Scissors, sorry, here," she said as she quickly handed them over.

His irritated gaze lingered on the woman for a few seconds, knowing what caused her and her husband to give off the ultimate deer-in-the-headlights look.

He began cutting away the sleeve of her thermal, around her shoulder, then slid the dirty, blood covered thing off once it broke free. Goosebumps immediately rose across the pale skin of her uncovered and skinny little arm that had been hiding within. The scar, which was ultimately responsible for bringing her to him, was now exposed for all to see and he watched her whole body _shudder._

A gasp escaped from both Tommy and Maria. It was uncontrollable, natural and reactionary, like they'd just seen a ghost. They flinched backwards a bit as shock seized them, eyes widening from the sight.

Ellie let loose a nervous peep in reaction, and looked up at Joel for comfort, squeezing his hand tighter in the process.

"Goddammit," he spat under his breath, eyes lowering to the floor. He shot his head around once more. "You two _mind!?"_ he barked as he glared at them.

Maria rubbed her eyes, gulped, drew in a breath, then shook her head again. "S-sorry... we've just never seen - "

"I know, but now _really_ ain't the damn time!" he barked again. the hand holding Ellie's wrist tightening its grip in some sort of protective habit.

"Yeah, yeah we know - sorry," she responded. She gave her husband a glance, imploring him to loosen up before they sent the little girl through the roof from anxiety.

But it was too late. She was already panicking. And their reactions certainly didn't help. She'd spent the entire past year hiding the damn thing and now it was just sitting out in the open air and exposed for all to see. She didn't know it, but her whole body was shaking, practically vibrating in terror like a small critter cowering in fear from nearby predator. Her heart was in her throat, pounding so hard she could hear it between her ears. All of her internal alarms were going off, blaring and screaming that _this_ was all so wrong.

In only a few seconds she was in pure self-defense mode, eyes darting around the room in fear, looking out for the slightest of threats. The horrifying thought that someone, or something, was about to bust through the door and discover her secret, only to rip her away from  _him,_ Joel, and ruin everything that they'd built together since arriving in Jackson, took hold of her conscience, because  _o_ _h fuck oh fuck oh fuck no no no this is so wrong one of them is gonna say something and someone's gonna find out then they're gonna come get me and Joel's gonna go fucking bat shit insane and kill everyone then I'll never see him again oh god this is so wrong it's... oh god._

She started to squirm. Twist. Turn. And writhe atop the table.

With frantic hands Joel tried to corral her. "Woah woah Ellie Ellie baby, shh shh. It's okay it's okay. It's okay. Easy girl... _easy,_ " he soothed as he tried to get a hold of her tiny, shaking frame, strong hands gently latching to both of her arms. "I'm right here, _no one_ is gonna hurt you."

Her eyes settled on his, and she gulped. "You sure!?"

"Positive. We're okay, I gotcha, I swear honey," he softly continued.

He cupped her cheek with a palm once more, just _feeling_ some of the tension slither out of her little self right then and there. They simultaneously took a deep breath, as if she were trying to match his breathing with his. And she was. He knew she was, and for love of all things holy he would do anything to keep her safe. To keep her happy. They didn't know much in the current state of the world, but they sure as hell at least knew _that._

She exhaled slowly, the breath rippling out of her as it shook her chest in a nervous manner. "Okay, yeah - I'm okay, let's do this."

He affectionately rubbed a thumb across her cheek, _there's my girl,_ then looked up at Maria, pleased to see that her and Tommy had relaxed. And for their sake, thank god they did, otherwise who knew what he would've done if they continued to make his little girl squirm in angst.

He cleared his throat. "You got rubbin' alcohol?" he asked.

Maria sighed, rubbed her brow, grimacing a bit in frustration. "No, no we don't. But umm..." She bit her lip and glanced around the room. "It's not perfect, but the whiskey might just be strong enough to work," she said, albeit cautiously, while wetting the washcloth to rinse Ellie's wound.

Ellie's head jerked towards Joel in reaction, eyes wide and round once again. "What the fuck!? Is that true!? Can you even fucking do that!?" she asked, voice a bit panicked and frantic.

Joel grunted in response, _goddammit,_ clearly not amused with the idea. He gritted his teeth, paused for a second as he mulled it over. "Fine, that'll have to do." He'd worked with less before, and he'd make do with whatever Maria had available. He was damn sure of it.

Maria then sat down, mere inches from Ellie. She shot Joel a glance, receiving a nod from him as a _"go ahead,"_ then lurched the wet cloth towards her arm. "Okay Ellie, this is just water to rinse it out, alright?"

She gulped and nodded. "Okay," she replied, wincing and squeezing Joel's hand upon feeling the touch of the damp fabric against the wound. Sensing the presence of someone other than Joel so close to her scar nearly induced another shudder, but she reined it in, knowing it would only set off the man beside her who couldn't bear to see her in pain.

Hiding things from him was never much use, though, because he could already see it in her eyes, her face. And despite her hardened, tough exterior, the image of her before him only reminded him of how fragile, delicate and... _breakable_ she still was. She needed him now more than ever and he knew it, so he returned his free hand to her face, gently stroked her hair and cheek. "Shh, you're okay, we're fine."

She closed here eyes, took in a deep breath, seemed to calm down some. How _the fuck does he always seem to know what I need?_

Maria went over the wound a few more times with the washcloth, saturating it with the blood from Ellie's wound, the red stuff still flowing out of it completely unimpeded.

"Okay, Tommy hand me the whiskey," Maria said, voice stern, commanding.

"Yep, here."

"Thanks." She poured some of the alcoholic drink into the cloth, then paused for a moment.

A tense silence fell between them all and Maria lifted her gaze from Ellie's arm to Joel's eyes. Hers wilted and emitted a pained, nervous look, knowing what she was about to do to the little girl who lay before her. Part of her still wasn't entirely convinced that Joel wouldn't break her neck if she caused Ellie to unhitch even the smallest of yelps.

He simply huffed and nodded in response, then looked back at Ellie. "Alright baby, just look at me, okay? This is gonna sting."

Ellie took another deep breath, bit her lip and winced as she tethered her gaze with his, just like he said. "Uh-huh, okay," she muttered.

Maria gave him another hesitant look that he only responded to with another reluctant nod before pulling Ellie's small hand to his lips and giving it a light kiss. She pressed the whiskey soaked cloth against the wound.

Ellie flinched, twitched, twisted and squirmed. A shriek yearned to burst from her lips, teeth clenching as she nearly unraveled the high-pitched, painful cry. But she didn't. She couldn't. She had to keep it under wraps. For _him_. But the natural force of it was so strong it still managed to trickle out of her mouth as a muffled whimper.

"Sorry! Sorry, sorry!" Maria said, a grimace of her own engulfing her face, hand quickly wiping and dabbing the cloth against the wound.

Joel squeezed her small hand and continued to stroke her cheek and hair. "Shh, you're alright. It's okay. You're doin' _great_ honey just hang in there," he cooed. Though he'd be lying if he said his own throat didn't clench up at the sight of her squirming about in pain. A thousand needles might as well have been driving through his heart when he glanced down and saw the pain in those innocent blue eyes.

"Almost done," Maria said as she quickly finished disinfecting the wound, hands lightly shaking and all. She immediately backed away, dropped the cloth to the floor and took a deep breath, relieved that during those brief seconds Joel didn't slam her head into the table for causing the girl so much discomfort.

He felt Ellie's grip around his hand loosen a bit as she relaxed, and watched her take another series of deep breaths. "We're almost through this. Last part," he said as he gently patted her on the stomach. There was a sense of hesitation in his voice, maybe even fear, because he knew exactly what was coming next. He knew his tough little girl was prepared for it, but was he?

He looked at his brother sitting across the table. "Tommy, you're up," he ordered.

Silence. The tension in the room spiked to a record high.

Tommy's eyes widened and he raised a hand in a defensive gesture, slowly getting up and blindly backing away from the table. "Oh hell no. No, no, no. I ain't doin' that, I'm - "

"Yes you _are,_ " Joel growled, radiating with an intimidating glare that nearly floored the younger man. "Now sit your ass back down an' do it. You've stitched me up before an' you're gonna stitch her up too."

Ellie remained quiet, not wanting to get in between them, knowing that Joel wouldn't be able to keep himself together if he was the one poking and sliding a needle through her skin. In a world filled with unknowns, she at least knew he would _never_ let harm come to her. In fact, it was really the only thing she _did_ know. And if he trusted Tommy to do the job, she had every reason to trust Tommy too. Besides, every part of her wanted Joel to stay right where he was. Which was no more than an inch away, gently holding her, cooing to her and _thank god you know I always want you close to me._

Tommy sighed, wiped a hand down his face. "Fine," he spat. After all, this was partially his fault.

He shuffled back to the table, quietly cursing under his breath. It was mostly inaudible, though Joel didn't seem amused by it in the slightest regardless. Tommy then sat back down, in Maria's spot, and prepared the needle and thread. He stopped, gulped, and looked up to meet Joel's eyes. "We don't got any anesthetic you know," he said, voice shaken, nervous,  _scared._

Ellie accidentally unhitched a muffled, little noise as she glanced up at Joel in reaction, her tough outer-shell beginning to crack ever so slightly. The sound was painful to Joel's ears, sharp like the needle about to puncture her skin, and caused him to cringe.

He heaved a frustrated sigh, rubbed her fingers with a thumb, lifted his gaze from the floor back to his brother. "I know that dammit. Shit's a luxury we ain't got here. Now just do it will you!? She's still bleedin' all over the place!" he said, the volume in his voice rising after each word.

"Alright alright! Fuck!" Tommy shouted back.

And oh how well aware of that fact Joel was. He'd been sewn up enough times to know any sort of numbing agent was a rare privilege. A stroke of good fortune in a world that gave you little, but took a lot. And the thought that his Ellie would have to endure the same level of pain nearly made him sick.

Tommy lurched a hand towards the wound, still cautious and wary of what Joel would do to him if he ever touched Ellie again. And with a bit too much force, he pressed a finger on either side of the wound in an attempt to close it.

Ellie flinched again. Winced. Cringed. Yelped in reaction, like a small dog getting cruelly kicked in the ribs. She watched Joel's face go red, his jaw rigid as stone and she swore the angry glare he gave Tommy could've drilled a hole into the man's skull.

"Jesus boy! Easy! The hell's the matter with you!?" he barked, a protective wrath behind every word.

Tommy shot back in retreat, hunched in his chair and gritted his teeth, huffing in frustration. "I'm - " he paused, quietly cursed once again. "I'm tryin' to do this just like you asked goddammit! It's gonna hurt no matter what Joel - Christ!" he shouted.

"Tommy!" Maria spat, annoyed at his tone.

"What!? It's the damn truth!" he fired back as he turned his head over a shoulder.

Unable to wait a second more, Ellie spoke up. Because she just knew if she had to wait any longer, all of her mental preparation for the pain would wane and it would only be that much worse. "Just fucking do it Tommy c'mon! I'm ready!"

The room went silent, all eyes were now on the small, horizontal girl on the table.

"You heard her. Get to it," Joel said, nodding towards her, eyes stuck to his brother's.

"Alright." Tommy shrugged. "Fine. Here we go."

He went right to work. He poked the needle into her skin at one end of the wound, but hesitated at first because lord have mercy on his soul if he made her cry...

She violently twitched and squirmed once again. Her lips trembled. The entirety of her face flushed, went red and hot from the pain, and every part of her wanted to simply let loose and uncork a scream, _holy motherfucking piece of fucking shit fuck fuck fuck._

But she didn't. Just like before, she couldn't. Nope. Joel needs her to hold it together. So instead she squeezed his hand even harder, digging her fingernails deep into his palm until the callused thing was on the verge of bleeding.

He didn't notice, wouldn't have said anything even if he did. All he could do was continue soothing her, speaking to her and just being... _close_  to her _,_ because he knew that's what she needed the most, _him._ He cupped her cheek again and tenderly rubbed her temple with a pair of fingers. But _Jesus Christ_ the crushing blow to his chest upon seeing her fidget about in pain was almost too much to bear.

As minutes passed, her constant squirming, trembling lips and muffled, pained, little whimpers were causing his throat to tangle itself into a knot. His arms - hell, his whole body - were nearly shaking he wanted to scoop her up and hold her so _fucking_ badly, because _fuck me, just seein' her like this is torture an' I ain't gonna be okay if she cries goddammit._

"J-Joel," she peeped again, voice coming out distressed as ever.

Despite her best attempts to hide it, she was in agony. And _fuck_ he knew it.

For some fucking reason _his_  eyes were glossy, and his lips trembled. "Shh I know it hurts baby, I know. Just look at me honey, keep lookin' at me," he said, eyes appearing to wilt and crumble at the sight of her pained self.

Tommy made a particularly ungraceful poke with the needle, thus yanking out another violent fidget and heart wrenching yelp from her. "Aaaghhh! Oh fuck!" she shouted, pressing both eyes shut, doing _everything_ she could to suppress the tears that yearned to freely fall down her cheeks.

" _Tommy..._ " Joel snarled. The grave warning came out cold, ominous and _dangerously_ low. If the younger Miller  _ever_ made Ellie Williams make that sound again, he was as good as dead.

"I'm - I know goddammit! I'm sorry! I'm almost done!" Tommy shouted, hands starting to shake a bit and eyes not breaking from the needle weaving through her skin.

"Joel, gimme - " Ellie started, voice cracking.

"What what what? What is it?" he asked, the words spouting from his lips in a frantic manner. And part of him wanted to himself for not already knowing what she was pleading for.

"Your sleeve! Gimme your fucking sleeve!" she shouted.

In one, swift motion, she lunged for his sleeve with her free hand and sunk her teeth deep into the flannel cloth. Both eyes squeezed firmly shut and her jaw tightened as she bit down hard, emitting a small, pained growl into his shirt as her hand immediately retreated to its previous, default position; in his.

He held it, caressed it, tenderly rubbed it with a thumb. "C'mon baby, you're doin' great. We're almost done. You're doin' _so_ well," he said.

Her eyes popped back open and she looked up at him.

_Uh-oh._

They were glossy. Wet. Glimmering with fluid and starting to crystallize with a thin membrane of tears that would flow over if they kept building at their current rate. The sight only caused his heart nearly stop right then and there and his next breath to halt in his chest because _oh Jesus I ain't ready._

He swallowed hard, _real_ hard, tried to squash the lump quickly forming in his throat then gently stroked her cheek again. "When we get home I'm makin' you _all_ the hot chocolates," he said through a forced, very subtle and lighthearted laugh.

Miraculously, it managed to pull out of her a sound that wasn't a whimper or wounded noise. If it was a laugh, it certainly wasn't one he'd ever heard before, but he swore he saw the slightest of dimples form in her cheeks, which were still rife with tension while her teeth remained firmly clamped into his sleeve.

"Okay okay! Done!" Tommy shouted as he snipped the thread. And there was an obvious relief that bordered on fucking excitement in his voice that had him breathing hard like he'd just ran ten miles. He simply dropped the needle and thread to the floor, then sunk back into his chair and stared up at the ceiling, deeply exhaling for the first time in minutes, _"lord have mercy on my soul."_

The grip of Ellie's teeth on Joel's sleeve loosened and she flopped the back of her head onto the table, breathing heavily and gazing up at him with a rare, but endearing and vulnerable expression. She did it. _They_ did it.

Maria, relieved for the entire ordeal to be over as well, clapped her hands in support. "Yay Ellie! Way to go girl! You didn't even cry! Most grown men I know would've shed at least a few tears!" she said with a smile.

The woman's declaration of victory pulled a small grin across Ellie's lips, and Joel's as well, and they exchanged tender looks, holding it for longer than normal.

_That's my tough little girl._

If tears really had dripped from her eyelids, she knew the suffocating and crushing impact to his chest would've broken his rib cage and stopped his heart. It'd be too much to bear, then he'd crumble to pieces and _break_ which would only make her cry even harder then make everything worse and _fuck_ she wouldn't be able to get through _this_ or anything else for that matter because if she lost him for whatever reason life would be impossible - meaningless - and just maybe _I don't know what the fuck I would do if I lost you I'd -_

"Can't believe you had to do that twice to this stubborn bastard, Ellie," Tommy said with a sly smirk as he ran a hand through his hair. "Still don't know how you managed to survive a piece of re-bar impalin' your ass brother," he continued.

Joel felt the grip of Ellie's hand around his tighten, and watched her throat clench. Her eyes crystallized again and were suddenly filling with a level of anguish that made their earlier state seem like child's play. And for a second, he thought he actually caught the glimpse of a tear trickling out of the corners of each.

She gulped. _No he_ _can't fucking die he just... he just can't he never will because he's... he's Joel, right!?_

"Can't imagine how the hell you kept his old ass alive, I mean shit - "

" _Tommy..._ " he warned with a chillingly deep, low and stern tone once again. His eyes pierced through his brother with laser like focus, warning him to choose his next words very, very carefully. Underneath it all, though, he gave Ellie an affectionate, soft rub to her hand, because thanks to Tommy's terrible fucking bedside manner he had to assure her that he really was still here, with _her._

Tommy cleared his throat and rubbed his brow. "Right. Uhh... sorry."

Ellie reached both arms up towards Joel's shoulders, fingers lightly wiggling in the air as she grasped for him. As opposed to the usual call of his name that left her lips in moments like these, she simply released a hushed, _wanting_ little noise through the tiniest of pouts,  _"gimme!"_

His lower lip matched the bulge of hers and he immediately slid both hands beneath her back. "Shh it's okay, you're alright. C'mere baby girl, I gotcha, here we go," he cooed while lifting her up into his arms, holding her close. He kissed her on the cheek then felt the entirety of her little frame relax in his embrace. She let loose a sniffle, wiped her nose on his sleeve, then couldn't help but let out a muffled, happy sigh against his shoulder.

"That fucking sucked ass," she murmured, the words coming out soft and barely audible due to her face being buried into his shirt.

He snickered and tenderly rubbed her shoulder blades. "I know it did, but you did so goddamn good. I'm _so_ proud of you."

After clearing his throat, he returned his gaze to his brother, brow furrowing once again as both eyes took on a renewed furious state. "Alright. _Now_ I reckon you better get talkin'. What. How. And _who?"_ he sneered. And may the lord have mercy on who was responsible for the sewn up gash on his little Ellie's arm, because they might as well have started digging their grave right then and there so they could at least have the luxury of choosing which part of the earth he would put them six feet under in. Only if he were feeling generous of course...

Ellie gulped, both eyes popping open as she sensed the tension quickly seizing the burly-framed man holding her.

Tommy spoke up, quickly tried to vocalize a defense, voice quavering behind each word. "Joel, it ain't... it ain't anything like that. It was just an - "

"Bullshit it ain't like that!" Joel interrupted with a bark. "I swear to god if you're just tryin' to - "

"Joel stop! Stop! Stop!" Ellie stammered, a small fist pounding against his chest. She lifted her head from his shoulder, looked deep into his eyes. "Just stop. It's okay."

" _We're okay, trust me."_

"She fell from a tree, Joel. Girl was tryin' to get a better vantage point to take out a pretty big family of deer we found," Tommy said. He crossed his arms, leaned back in his chair. "She just slipped climbin' her way down, then came tumblin' to the ground. Caught her arm real bad on a jagged branch, that's all, I swear. When it happened I took her here right away, honestly," he continued, still feeling his stomach twisting from Joel's gaze. As if the gruff man were studying his every motion, expression and twitch in his face to detect even the smallest of untruths.

Joel turned his heard towards Ellie, the cute, freckled button of her nose mere inches from his while she remained propped up in his arms; her favorite place. "That true?" he asked. And if it was, part of him wanted to go hack the inanimate thing down for even daring to have branches sharp enough to lacerate her arm. The thought was absurd, but to him it of course seemed like the most intelligent and logical thing to do.

"Mmhm. It is," she peeped with a small nod. Then her eyes squinted ever so slightly, and he felt the grasp of her arms around his neck tighten. "I wouldn't lie to you," she said.

 _That_ sent a chill up his spine. And if there were ever a distinct moment when he was sure that she _knew_ he lied to her, it was this one. It only made him feel more guilty and that much more like a piece of shit. Though luckily, all of his anger directed at Tommy slowly dissipated, and the red that previously colored his face washed away.

But an irresistible smile gradually returned to his lips as he looked into those big, glistening, greenish-blues, which only pulled another dimple-inducing smile across hers as well.

"Alright. But you'd tell me if anyone _ever_ hurt you, right?"

"Uh-huh," she replied with another nod.

"Good," he said. And he pressed his lips against the side of her head, digging his nose into her hair as he closed his eyes and took in her scent. It always soothed him, assured him she was alive, breathing, unharmed, and most of all, safe in his arms. "Just... be more careful sweetheart, okay? Nearly gave me heart attack," he softly muttered against her temple. He gave it a light kiss then lifted his head away to see her face once more.

She was fucking _beaming_.

The whites of her teeth shined through the gigantic smile stretched across her mouth. She just couldn't ignore the tickle of warmth that always rippled through her gut when he demonstrated how much he cared, how much he cherished her and - _I know you love me, you just have to._

"Yeah, okay. I will. I swear," she replied, knowing full well she would too. If not for anything else, she'd at least do it for _him_ if it made him happy.

That assurance he took to heart, believing it without question, because unlike him she was as innocent and pure as a springtime rain, never once lying to him about anything. She never did, because she trusted him _implicitly._ She trusted him with her life and he _knew_ it, which only seemed to twist the knife, which was his horrid lie, deeper into his gut.

How ironic was _that?_ She _did_ trust him with her life and maybe that was the fucking problem. Because goddammit he'd kill a hundred Fireflies - even himself - a thousand times over without blinking if it meant keeping her alive as opposed to letting her get sliced open on an operating table at the hands of the them; only to have her lifeless body discarded into a pile like a piece of trash.

Keeping her alive, saving her life, albeit for selfish reasons, _was_ his lie and he swore to himself that he would never lie to her again. And he hoped that if he could just raise her right, raise and _love_ her as his own and keep her happy, that perhaps she'd realize that life was worth living. That perhaps she'd find something new to fight for. That perhaps she'd discover another sense of... _purpose._

Then maybe, just maybe, when he did finally come clean, she would somehow find a way to understand the choice he made because _I did it for you. I did it for me. I did it for us, because whether you know it or not I love you down to the last strand of red hair on that little head of yours and -_

"Joel?" she peeped with a slight dip and tilt of the head, clasping both hands together around the back of his neck as she nestled deeper into her favorite place. "You good?"

He drew in a slow, relaxing breath, then gave her a peck on the forehead and took a longer-than-normal pause as he looked into her eyes. "Yeah, I'm good."

Tommy and Maria collectively heaved a massive sigh of relief, shooting each other another glance. Maria cleared her throat, pulling Joel's attention to her. "Okay okay, go sit down you two. Get comfy. I'll cook us up something and we're all just gonna forget about this whole thing alright?" she said.

Joel snorted and snickered to himself. Letting things go and simply forgetting the ordeal, which put his little girl in harms way nonetheless, wasn't exactly in his D.N.A.

Ellie heard the light chuckle and gave him a curious look, which he only waved off with a shake of the head. _"Nothin'. Tell you later."_

She shrugged and accepted the silent response with a small smile in return.

Tommy rose to his feet, crossed his arms and leaned a shoulder against the wall. "You know, they're showin' a movie tonight at the hall. Reckon it's gonna start soon, wanna head down? Might be a nice reprieve after all of... this."

Both Joel and Ellie flinched. The presence of strangers was just about the last thing either of them wanted. Especially since he made a giant scene in the middle of town a few weeks back, when he nearly beat the living shit out of that asshole for bumping into her. Besides, they weren't usually kindly received at large gatherings, always feeling like outsiders and receiving a cold shoulder. But neither ever seemed to care, knowing they always had what they needed. Each other.

"Nah, not tonight Tommy. Think we're good on that front," he responded as he gently set Ellie down on the couch.

It took him a few seconds to peel her arms off of his shoulders, and she looked up at him with a hurt expression that nearly melted him into a puddle. As if removing her from his embrace was the worst goddamn thing in the universe.

"Joel, wait, what're you - " her voice came out confused, maybe even a little scared.

"Shh s'alright, we're okay. I'm just goin' to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"Fine," she huffed, scrunching her face as she crossed both arms, visually disappointed.

Maria cleared her throat and tried to distract her, sensing that the lack of Joel's presence, albeit brief, caused her to squirm. "Ellie! You want me to make you some hot chocolate?" she asked with glee.

Ellie perked up a bit, smiled, then shrugged. "Uhh... hell yeah."

Maria laughed from the surprisingly enthusiastic response. "Consider it done!" she shouted from the kitchen.

Ellie sat on the couch, _cold_ and _alone_. Once again goosebumps rose across the skin of her bare arm, which drew her attention to the throbbing ache of the stitched wound. But as she glanced towards it, the scar that would forever be permanently engraved into her forearm caught her eye. It was still sitting out in the open. Uncovered and unguarded. It felt wrong, even a little _dirty,_ and not having Joel right beside her only made her feel that much more vulnerable and... _naked._

She took a deep breath, rocked back and adjusted her ponytail in a nonchalant attempt to hide her obvious discomfort with the whole situation.

Tommy noticed, but made no mention of it, then walked out of the room after quietly saying something to Maria. Ellie wasn't sure what.

Joel finally returned and as he reentered, saw her sitting on the couch, arms wrapped around both elbows and her eyes immediately giving him that look he'd seen so many times before, _"oh thank god. Now gimme!"_ The nagging, constant fear in the back of her mind, which stemmed from her abandonment issues - and justifiably so - always struck her with the fear that each time he left, even just the room, he may not return.

But he _always_ did. He _never_ abandoned her. And she loved that.

The two of them exchanged smiles and quietly chuckled in reaction to her secretive and silent request.

"You cold sweet pea?" he asked as he began unbuttoning his flannel and walking towards her.

"I _am,_ " she replied with a whine and frown, looking up at him. Though she knew the question was all just a front and excuse for him to give her his flannel and thus hide the scar that made her so self-conscious. The man really was beginning to know what she needed at all times, having to ask less and less often...

He draped the large, warm shirt over her shoulders and she slid both arms into its sleeves. He pulled it taught around her, swaddling her little frame in the overlong thing, which looked ridiculous on her - well, ridiculously adorable - until just her neck and head peeked through the top. "Better?" he asked, cupping her cheek and gently rubbing the scar above her eye with a thumb.

"Uh-huh," she said with another one of her signature, ponytail-bouncing nods.

"Good. Now scoot kiddo."

She obeyed and watched him flop onto the couch. He laid down on his back and stretched both legs out across it, until his feet rammed up against the armrest on the opposite end. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, blindly reaching a hand out to meet hers. But before it even reached her, she was already climbing on top of him; skinny, sharp bony knees and elbows digging into his torso as she wiggled and shifted her little self up his much larger frame.

He let out a guffaw, trying to make it sound genuine, but he'd be a damn liar if he said he didn't find _some_ comfort and enjoyment in her antics. "Now what in the hell's this?" he asked with a light laugh, arms mindlessly, almost _instinctively,_ lifting away to make room for her.

"Shush you. I'm getting comfy!" she fired back, tone all playful and kittenish.

"Tssht - alright, alright. C'mere you cute little thing," he said as she made herself comfortable, lying atop him with her back against his chest. He wrapped both arms around her waist, enveloping her small frame in his embrace as she stretched both legs out, the tips of her feet barely reaching past his knees. With all toes still hidden within her white ankle socks, she lightly wiggled them, rubbing them against his jeans. She smiled, and heaved a massive, happy sigh of content in the process.  _Now_ she was good. She was safe there. Not a thing could harm her.

He briefly closed his eyes, kissed her hair, then buried his nose deep into it, until the tip was pressed against her scalp. "How's my little baby?" he softly asked through a deep breath as he took in her natural, soothing scent once again.

"Mmmm... better now," she responded. He wasn't able to see them, but he knew the dimples in her cheeks were as deep as canyons from the smile carved into her face.

Tommy returned, but stopped and stood in the doorway, leaning against it and rolling his eyes at the sight. "Really you two?" he jabbed with a sarcastic snort.

"I hear you snickerin' back there. Don't make me get up and smack your ass to last week boy!" Joel said, tone lighthearted and obviously joking. A stark contrast from no more than ten minutes prior.

Ellie arched her neck, tilted her head back, and for the first time all evening, uncorked a boisterous laugh in reaction to the playful threat. _Jesus_ that sound, he couldn't get enough of it. It was clear evidence that she was actually... _happy._

And yeah, maybe they did look a tad ridiculous. What with his nose completely dug into and hidden by the mass of her auburn hair. And their two, co-dependent selves wrapped up in the other. But neither seemed to care in the slightest, and they never would.

"Tssht - Christ," Tommy said through another muffled chuckle as he continued into the room. He sat down on a nearby chair with a big, shit-eating grin, surprising them both with the object he held in his lap.

Ellie gasped. "Oh no way!" said, mouth dropping agape. She lifted her head off of Joel's chest in excitement, nearly smacked him the face with the ensuing swing of her ponytail. "A fucking guitar!? Hell yeah!" 

And,  _holy shit,_ he'd grovel at Tommy's feet forever if the young man continually put a smile like _that_ across her face. _Jesus boy, all's forgiven if you keep that up._

"Joel!? Tommy can play too!?" she asked, tilting her head back again in an attempt to look up at him. And there was this look of... joy, and... delight in her eyes that was _something_ else.

He affectionately rubbed her waist with both hands, which remained wrapped around her, and chuckled. "Yes ma'am. Reckon he sure can."

"What, he never told you?" Tommy asked as his fingers began naturally plucking away at the strings. Within seconds they were easily playing some random assortment of chords, which somehow all seemed to flow together quite nicely.

"No! He did not!" she declared, still smiling like _everything_ was right with the world.

"Yep, boy can play. He's more of a natural though. I had to work at it. When we were younger the damn kid would just pick the thing up an' go. Drove me nuts," Joel said through a light laugh.

Tommy smiled and seemed tickled by the compliment, but was also surprised that his brother appeared to have already forgotten about him stumbling through the door with a wounded Ellie in his arms.

"Hey, it's how he got me," Maria said as she strolled back into the living room.

Both Joel and Ellie paused, shot each other a glance of shock, then looked back to Tommy.

"Oh now we _gotta_ hear this. C'mon, spill the fucking beans dude! What'd you do!?" Ellie demanded.

Tommy and Maria gave each other a look and chuckled, both blushing a bit from the memory.

"Well..." Maria started, pausing as she smiled and placed a hand on her husband's shoulder. "He kept asking me out. I kept saying no. Then... one day he showed up at my door with a guitar and played me a song and... that was that."

Joel rolled his eyes, let loose an exaggerated, antagonizing sigh. "Oh brother... an' you call me a damn sap. Christ," he said with a laugh.

"Awww! Tommy and Maria sittin' in a tree!" Ellie said with a smile. A smile so big that if he saw the adorable thing it would melt him into mush.

"Tssht - reckon _you_ were the one sittin' in a tree today there missy," he said with a smirk as he reached up and pinched her nose.

Tommy, continuing to strum the guitar, let out a laugh along with his wife.

Ellie guffawed, wiggled free from the pinch, swatting his hand away as if it were a pesky fly. "Pfft - yeah, yeah, yeah... what the hell ever," she said with an eyeroll. She gently shifted in his arms, tilted her head towards Tommy, the tip of her ponytail giving Joel a slight tickle to the neck. "So, what'd you play for her? Can we hear it?"

Tommy cleared his throat and nodded, fingers still meticulously gliding across the strings of the guitar. "I think we can make that happen. Reckon it goes uhh... a little somethin' like this..."

Somehow, her smile managed to widen even more and she watched him seamlessly roll into the first chords of the intro of some song she'd never heard. Regardless, whatever it was, it already had her full, undivided attention.

"Oh dear... here we go," Maria said, eyes rolling as she couldn't help but smirk.

"Woah! He's good ! Joel!" Ellie said through a hushed gasp, poking Joel's arm in the process. "Joel are you hearing this?"

"Mmmhmm, sure am," he replied, still the slightest annoyed with his younger brother's natural ability to play the instrument that he had to spend so many hours to perfect.

Finally, Tommy broke into lyrics and sang. "My motorcycle needs an, oil change. Fence needs mendin', house needs paint. I got a million things that need to be done but - "

"Oh hold it, hold it, _hold it,_ " Joel interrupted with a loud groan, immediately putting a stop to Tommy's singing and playing of the guitar. The room went quiet. The sudden silence was practically deafening.

"You played _that_ for her?" he asked.

He rolled his eyes and had to bite his cheek to prevent himself from breaking into hysterics. "I... tssht - an' she agreed to marry you anyway? Goddammit boy, are you messin' with me?" A laugh, which he couldn't rein in any longer, burst from his lips. It was loud, boisterous, and  _real,_ genuine.

Maria let loose one of her own, covering her mouth with a hand in embarrassment because the flush of red that colored her husband's face was dark enough to act as its own form of sunblock.

Tommy rubbed his brow, clearly annoyed at the whole thing, but before he could speak and form a defense, Ellie barged in.

She gave Joel an elbow to the stomach, tilted her head back, looked up at him. "Shush you! I wanna hear it! I was liking it so far, it sounded pretty catchy," she said.

He huffed a sigh, rolled his eyes again. "'Course it's catchy, it's some damn, poppy as hell country ol' thing an' - "

"Ah ah ah! Hush," the little girl interrupted. Joel lightly shook his head and went silent after grunting what they all could only interpret as a _"whatever."_

She looked back at Tommy, appearing to be quite proud of herself. "There." She cleared her throat. "Okay Tommy, please continue, and please excuse my butt munch of a friend here," she playfully said.

Joel snorted and squeezed her just a little bit tighter, "tssht, little brat," which apparently she interpreted as some sort of invitation to press the small of her back against his stomach even harder. But they both smiled at the endearing act.

Tommy's smile returned and he picked up right where he left off, the catchy tune of the guitar taking hold of the room once more.

"But baby I can only focus on one! The way you're lookin' back at me right now, I'm thinkin' about everything I shouldn't be thinkin' about. You're playin' with my mind, baby ain't no doubt, I'm thinkin' about everything I shouldn't be thinkin' about. You're everything I shouldn't be thinkin' about!"

At this point, Ellie was now lightly bouncing her head to the sound of the guitar, Tommy's voice and everything to do with this song from before the outbreak, that apparently had Joel groaning like a fool.

Tommy's fingers kept strumming, and as he shot Maria a loving wink he sang once more. "Baby you've always had a one track mind. So what you're sayin' ain't no surprise. What may come as a shock to you, is that I'm havin' all those little thoughts too yeah!"

"The way you're lookin' back at me right now, I'm thinkin' about everything I shouldn't be thinkin' about. You're playin' with my mind, baby ain't no doubt, I'm thinkin' about everything I shouldn't be thinkin' about. You're everything I shouldn't be thinkin' about!"

Ellie was finding endless amounts of joy from it. So much so, that her little feet were now absentmindedly and happily swaying to and fro, brushing against Joel's jeans as she continued to bounce her head while doing some sort of strange wiggle and dance in his arms. "Man, this isn't bad at all! Quit being such a fucking downer Joel!" she exclaimed with a wide, bright-eyed smile.

He rolled his eyes and snorted again, shaking his head, making no effort to mask his obvious disapproval.

Tommy played the bridge then sang the last verse, readying them for one more round of the chorus. "Alright Ellie, you ready?" he asked, repeating the same set of notes over and over again as he awaited her response.

"For what!?" she asked, still smiling like a damn fool.

"You remember the chorus now? You're gonna sing along, yeah?" the younger Miller asked, knowing full well he was probably - no, definitely - driving his older brother up the wall.

"Hell yeah!" she said. And in a second she wriggled free from Joel's arms.

She twisted and rolled over, then propped herself up on her elbows all dainty-like, atop his chest with both palms supporting her chin. Her eyes were glowing, sparkling, big, bug-eyed and round, and made no attempt to mask the amusement she was getting out of _this,_ even if she _knew_ he was getting irritated and trying to retreat from her irresistible persistence. "Aaaaannnnd you're gonna sing too!" the petite, auburn haired girl declared, who was still swaddled in his overlong flannel and now lightly bouncing the lower part of her legs up and down to the beat of the music.

"Like hell I am kiddo," he said, his nose mere inches from hers. He wasn't sure why he kept at it, because she obviously wasn't accepting no as an answer. Although, he couldn't completely squash away the lopsided smirk stretching across his lips at the sight of how _fucking_ happy and adorable she looked.

"Ohhhh yes you are!" she prodded with a cheeky grin and bounce of the eyebrows.

"C'mon Joel!" Tommy egged on before letting his fingers roll across the strings, ready to dive into the chorus again. "Alright, one more time, here we go!" he shouted before breaking into it.

Ellie of course joined in, loving every second and bouncing her head to the left and right, all happy and stupid, all the while staring at Joel with those greenish-blues and imploring him to do the same.

"The way you're lookin' back at me right now, I'm thinkin' about everything I shouldn't be thinkin' about," Ellie, Tommy and Maria joyfully sang.

"Joel! C'mon!" Ellie pleaded and groaned, her voice acting as some dissonant screech over the melody of the guitar and Tommy's voice.

He huffed again, until finally, he couldn't resist her anymore because _damn this girl an' her persistent ways_. He chuckled to himself, gently grabbed both sides of her face and let the smile he was trying so hard to hide fully encompass his cheeks. Oh yeah, he jumped right in, just like she'd asked, feeling awkward as ever. But dear god the way her face lit up when he did so was already making every passing second worth it.

"You're playin' with my mind, baby ain't no doubt, I'm thinkin' about everything I shouldn't be thinkin' about. You're everything I shouldn't be thinkin' about!" the four of them sang in unison. Tommy and Maria exchanged glances while Joel and Ellie gazed at each other, bouncing their heads to and fro, mirroring the motion of the other, doing some sort of stupid dance in their horizontal position on the couch and knowing they probably looked like a couple of fucking idiots. But _as if_ they could care in this moment.

Because _she_ was happy his brother was happy his sister-in-law was happy and for the first time in as long as he could remember _he_ felt happy and he'd completely forgot about the past tension-filled hours because that smile and those big adorable eyes and the way her face lit up when he finally gave in and the full moon in the night sky shining through the window and it all just seemed so carefree and...

 _Perfect._ He actually felt _human._

Hours went by. They laughed. They sang. They laughed some more then ate a full meal thanks to Maria. And before long, Tommy was cleaning up in the kitchen, and Ellie was again safely snuggled in Joel's arms, curled up and lying on top of his chest, nuzzled into the crook of his neck while they lay on the couch.

He simply listened to that wonderful, precious, faint whistle of air that always escaped her nose while she slept. He smiled at the sight of her, and resigned himself to the fact that they were staying there for the night. Then, careful not to disturb the sleeping, little redhead in his arms, he slowly reached down and picked up the blanket that lay nearby and covered them with it.

She gently shifted, rubbed her cheek against his shirt and let out a peep, a muffled, adorable little thing, with a small, delicate smile. He squeezed her just a bit tighter, the affection for her pouring out of him, and kissed her forehead. He took a deep breath, stroked her hair as he closed his eyes and smiled, trying to doze off to sleep as well.

A few minutes later as Tommy walked by to join Maria upstairs, one eye peeled open. Slowly. Barely, and just enough for him to see the source of the sudden movement. To see if the sudden change in environment posed a threat to the sleeping, little creature that lay cuddled in his arms. Like a guard dog that never quite fully falls asleep while fiercely protecting that which matters most.

"Tommy..." he mumbled, voice soft, hoarse and quiet.

Tommy stopped just in front of the couch and looked down at his brother and Ellie, who both looked _absurdly_ comfortable, adorable and happy in their current position. "Yeah?" he replied.

"Thanks." Joel paused. "For everything. An' ahh... steppin' up back there."

"'Course. You two're family," Tommy said with a smile and nod before walking upstairs.

Joel pressed his lips against Ellie's hair, gave her another gentle kiss. "G'night baby girl."

And for the first time in _years,_ life felt... _simple._ Just how he liked it. He had Ellie, his little girl and _purpose,_ warm, safe, happily asleep in his arms with a gigantic, goofy smile across her lips. He and his brother were beginning to repair their relationship and make amends. Everything felt right. Everything was working as intended and as they should.

Everything except, of course, that one, lingering thing. The lie. Soon he'd have to come clean and tell her. Because nothing in this world was ever perfect.

And nothing between _them,_ was ever simple.

**Author's Note:**

> The song played and sang by Tommy is titled 'Everything I Shouldn't be Thinking About' by Thompson Square, just in case anyone's interested. It was released in the summer of 2013, which would've been just before the outbreak, and was played on country stations everywhere.


End file.
